We have your backpack all packed up with your first homework assignment, your snack is chilling in the fridge, and your very first day of school outfit is all picked out and hanging on your door knob ready for you to put it on. You are ready.
I, am not. I broke down last night with tears in my eyes. You are no longer my baby, or my toddler. At night when I go into your room just to look at you, I still expect to see a baby. But you're not anymore. You are officially a big girl. A big kid. I have wanted to bottle you up and keep you this age forever, but I can't. Right now, you hug me, and kiss me, and tell me you love me. When you are supposed to be in bed at night, you sneak out a couple of times, just to give me a hug and a kiss. I love that. And I'm not saying that is going to change, but everything now is going to be different.
I no longer get to snuggle with you in the mornings when you wake up and sneak into my bed with your jammies on and sleepy eyes. We won't get to eat our breakfast together, or watch cartoons snuggled up on the couch. You have to go to school now. School. Big girl school. I don't know where the time has gone and hope that I have taken every minute to tell you how much I love you and how proud of you I am. It's hard to let go, and I know I have to. Please remember that you will always be my precious little Riley. The one with the big heart and kind spirit. The one who just can't understand why anyone would ever be mean to you. The girl who wants everyone to be her friend.
My first born baby, you have changed me since the moment you took your first breaths, and I thank God for giving you to me. You are my angel. I wish you luck on your first day of school and hope you make lots of new friends. I hope you love your new teacher and that she loves you. I hope that you will always tell me about your day, and come to me with your fears. I will always be here for you and will walk by your side forever.
I know one day you will look back on this letter and say, oh gosh Mom, you are such a sap. It was just Kindergarten. But it's not just Kindergarten for me. I'm losing my little baby, and gaining such a big girl. I hope you know that it's bittersweet for me and I just want the best for you. I'm excited to watch you grow but I'm not ready to say goodbye to my baby.
I love you to the moon and back Riley Rose Rush. Or in your words, I love you this much...
Knock um dead tomorrow sweetness, and I promise I'll keep my tears to a minimum, if I can. You are ready, and I will be too. Hugs and kisses sweet, sweet girl. I love you.
Love always,
Mommy
